


overtones

by erenmin



Series: midnight sun [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenmin/pseuds/erenmin
Summary: This was the dream they had shared for so long, wasn’t it? The dream that motivated them both to keep on fighting, made them both die for each other at different points.Eren doesn’t want to accept the fact that it may have only been the dream of one of them after all.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Series: midnight sun [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953550
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	overtones

**Author's Note:**

> dunno how this came about, but it did. and i cried writing it, so hopefully you all do too.
> 
> i like to look at this as a sequel to lost at sea, but you don't have to read it or see it as such! i just think of it like that because it's set in the same day and from eren's pov this time.
> 
> this ship has just turned into pure angst and pain for me. no happiness, no fluff, bittersweet at the absolute best. but i completely accept my insanity in shipping this

Eren feels as if he’s intruding trying to approach Armin. 

He sits at the small fire they all made on the beach next to Mikasa, who’s chatting with Sasha and Jean. He couldn’t pinpoint the topic of it since he was too busy watching Armin explore the beach like a child discovering something and exploring for the first time. Eren remembers that they are still kids, even though it feels like they’re all so much older. 

He knows he should be walking with Armin, exploring with him. They should both be digging their feet into the sand while also combing through it to find shells, standing in the glistening water while they let it hit their shins and point out the various fish and other strange animals they can spot. This was the dream they had shared for so long, wasn’t it? The dream that motivated them both to keep on fighting, made them both die for each other at different points.

Eren doesn’t want to accept the fact that it may have only been the dream of one of them after all. 

It’s what makes him stand up from his spot abruptly, flinging sand around him and causing Jean to curse at him, but he ignores it all to dart for Armin who’s now crouched over the sand. He feels himself slightly sink into the sand and it goes between his toes and it feels nice now that the sun isn’t as strong anymore to heat up the sand like earlier. He slows down as hesitation seems to take over him the closer he gets to Armin, but he makes it so he’s towering over Armin and that’s when he finally notices Eren. His face lights up but Eren still sees a melancholy look in his eyes and he knows he put it there earlier.

“What are you looking for?” Eren asks, and he drops down to his knees to meet Armin’s gaze and see what he’s looking at. 

“I’m just digging. Seeing what I can find,” he shrugs as he shifts from the balls of his feet to his knees to get better balance and be more comfortable. Eren nods, and they both comb their fingers through the damp sand and scoop it up along with other rocks. There’s a comfortable silence between them and Eren revels in it, the normalcy and comfort in such a new and unfamiliar setting. Eren pauses to look around and he sees something glisten under the setting sun, and he extends his arm for it. It’s a soft white color, and Eren can’t help but notice that he can slightly see his reflection in it and he watches it shine and illuminate as he rolls between his fingers.

“That’s a pearl,” Eren’s broken out of a trance he was unaware of by Armin’s voice, soft yet filled with excitement. “I remember reading about it in the book. They’re extremely fragile and rare to find.”

Eren lowers his hand and he sees the same wonder in Armin’s eyes that he saw when they were children, and it’s almost too much to bear for Eren. He doesn’t deserve this, he shouldn’t have butted his way into Armin’s moment of peace with the ocean, get to truly experience his dream without anything or anyone to get in the way or dampen the experience like Eren had earlier. Or like he eventually will in the coming years. 

Eren has known of their fate and what he must do for the past year. As soon as he got one memory from his father he got them all, and then even more visions of events that haven’t happened yet appeared. Future feelings, words, actions all play in Eren’s head as if they had already happened. The biggest one that stands out to him involves Armin and Mikasa, and he cannot figure out the exact context of the situation, but he sees them sitting at a table, and he feels his face and knuckles bruise while Armin’s seem to do the same. That one makes him physically sick.

Despite it all, Eren cannot help but latch onto Armin and hope that with the closer he stays to Armin and the tighter grip he has on him, it will erase those future events and feelings and they can finally rest and simply live together freely. That’s what his future self is doing it for, right? To live freely with Armin, Mikasa, the others undisturbed. 

He looks back at the pearl and it keeps on glistening, like the sea, like Armin’s eyes have been all day. Both his eyes and the pearl emanate a pure, childlike light, and Eren realizes how similar Armin’s eyes are colored to the sea. Eren gently takes Armin’s wrist and extends it toward him while turning his hand upward, and he gently places the pearl in the palm of his hand. 

“Really?” Armin asks, his mouth agape. Eren nods and takes Armin’s other hand to clasp it and enclose the pearl. Eren then clasps his hands around Armin’s, like a promise. 

_A promise he would break._

“Yeah,” he nods. “Think of it as a gift from me for the shell earlier.” Eren doesn’t tell Armin that he had slipped it into Armin’s bag when he was in their shared tent earlier, and he felt undeserving of Armin’s generosity. 

“Thank you, Eren.” Eren nods and he takes his hands back, standing himself back up ready to retreat back to their tent to let Armin fully enjoy the sunset on the beach.

“Wait!” He’s stopped by Armin’s hand not holding the pearl grabbing his, and he looks back to see Armin gently dropping the pearl into the front pocket of his pants. “Stay with me.”

“I feel like I dampened the mood earlier,” Eren rubs the back of his head in uncertainty, refusing to make eye contact with Armin. “I want you to enjoy this.”

Armin huffs out a small breath and Eren sees him shake his head out of the corner of his eye. “This is our dream, remember? I’ll only be able to fully enjoy it with you here. Walk with me.” Armin then entwines his fingers with Eren’s and he ambles along the coast. 

Eren knows he should refuse, should let Armin have this moment so it won’t be tainted later on, but his selfishness gets the best of him and he walks in step with Armin, and they both look out at the endless horizon as Armin lightly swings their arms. There’s something so intimate about doing this specifically by the sea, and he hates that their comrades are only a couple hundred feet away to get a glimpse at such vulnerability.

Armin seems to notice Eren’s uneasiness, because he picks up the pace slightly when they’re parallel to the campfire gathering until it’s fully behind them. 

“I never knew sunsets could be this beautiful,” Armin muses, and Eren can’t bring himself to agree when he’s hit full force with Armin’s awed grin. He manages a nod and an affirmative hum. “This is a good spot.”

Armin lets go of Eren’s hand and he sits down on the sand, Eren quickly following and extending his legs in front of him and crossing them. Armin mimics his position, then scooting himself closer to Eren and placing his hand over Eren’s that’s clawed into the sand. Eren lets his hand relax and he shifts it so Armin’s fingers can easily rest between his. They both watch the sky, and Eren sees Armin reach into his pocket again and pull out the pearl to hold it between his two fingers like Eren had. He holds in front of the remaining sun and twists it like Eren had earlier, and Eren wishes he could record this moment like the picture his father had put in his book. 

“New dream,” Armin says, turning his gaze to shift his gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Eren notices his hair move with the head turn, and Eren absolutely adores how the shorter length shapes his face. “After we deal with the rest of the world and explore it, we build a house on the beach and we live here forever. We’ll be able to find all the pearls and shells we want and watch every sunset every night together.”

Eren intakes a sharp breath, hit with a whole new feeling of resolve. He stares at Armin for a moment, noticing how one side of his face is being lit up by the setting sun while the other one is being obstructed by the darkness of the rest of the beach. Eren can feel it that his face is illuminated the same. He knows that this is another reason to go forward with his plan in the next coming years, and Eren almost wishes he could do it right now. This resolve leaves him as quickly as the next wave of emotion hits him, a great feeling of dread and despair filling him as he’s reminded of the bruised and bloodied faces and knuckles. 

Eren blinks and the future events seem to run through his head all in that one moment, and he can’t see that outcome for them. His outcome with Armin is filled with so much pain and emptiness and loss. It’s not fair to promise this to Armin when he knows he won’t be able to go through with it

“Deal,” Eren croaks out, tears filling his eyes. He’s filled with the hope that maybe, just maybe promising him this has changed everything, that all of the bad he sees will disappear and vanish and it’ll be replaced with them. Eren didn’t think that Armin’s smile could get any bigger, but he’s proven wrong when his cheeks stretch further and his eyes squint thinner.

He suddenly feels Armin’s mouth on his, and it takes a second for him to catch up and kiss Armin back. He feels their hands squeeze each other’s in a vice grip and Eren raises his other to rest on Armin’s back and pulls him in even closer. Armin’s other hand rests on Eren’s shoulder with the pearl between them, and he feels it roll between them. He doesn't know how long they do this, but he feels the air around them get cooler as the sun finally goes to rest and Eren lets them be engulfed in the darkness, succumbing to his fate. Eren continues to kiss him as if this will absolve him of all of his wrongdoings to Armin, past, present, and future. That this will absolve him of his guilt of almost taking this opportunity from him for good by letting him sacrifice himself in Shiganshina, of him talking about death and killing when Armin was trying to connect to Eren standing in the sea and living their dream, and the eventual souring of these memories. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/erensmin)


End file.
